3 Childhood Habits That Shouldn’t Grow Out of You

Remember that time when (ages ago) we were going through a phase called childhood? No troubles (except how to eat the chocolate when mom isn’t looking), no tensions (except ‘Will I be able to wake up before Tom and Jerry starts?), no broken relationships (except that fight over who was taller) and only smiles? So, let’s go back to this time and see what precious things we had then that we don’t have (but need) now. Because, as Tom Stoppard says, “If you carry your childhood with you, you never become old.”

Are children being burdened by the aspirations of their parents?

Parents concoct a dream world for their children and imagine how their lives would turn out to be. They have a lot of expectations and aspirations for their children. Most of the expectations are social, moral and ethical which should be inculcated, undoubtedly. Needless to say, those parents obviously desire the best for their child. But sometimes, they attempt at living their unfulfilled life goals and dreams through their children, by constantly pushing them to achieve what they couldn’t. Right from the time a child is born, the competition starts. He should start walking, talking as early as possible. He should win races, excel in academics, be a good speaker; be a shining star in everything he does, to frame in a nutshell. His classmate participates in 20 activities, so why can’t he do the same?

Every child has his/her own capabilities and strengths. However, in today’s scenario, where competition has augmented our quest to be successful in nearly all the aspects of life, parents end up burdening their child with a heavy load of ambitions, which actually may not be the outcome of his own fabrication. The innocent is unaware of the unseen burden. Nowadays, 9-10 years old can be seen with this huge boulder on their shoulders, attending varied classes even after the normal school hours. With the changing times, our standard of living has surely enhanced, which means that the parents aim at providing everything and anything to their children. But does that mean, sending the tiny ones to numerous classes; be it swimming, dancing, singing, so that they have their heads in almost every field?

Just because a first standard child is soft spoken, is it right to send him away for tuition or coaching to assist him in speaking fluently? Every child develops at his own pace. Let them be! But then, they are parents. They want their child to have a secure future. A profession which provides them succor throughout their lives, a personality that facilitates them to move ahead, even if it is at the cost of pressurizing their life to such an extent that they feel stressed and over-burdened. What we learn in our childhood leaves an ineradicable impact on our lives. The more relaxed and happy our childhood is the more confident and optimistic we would become. Parents need to realize that although their ultimate goal is to ensure an assured future for their child, imposing their dreams on the young minds is not an option. It is crucial that the mind and cognition of the child develops. They need a nurturing and holistic environment, enabling them to try out new things, facilitating a channel of guidance between the child and the parents.

I, being a fortunate one, never found a situation wherein I was forced to get my hands into something which I didn’t like, was always provided with an environment aiding me to develop as per my own caliber. I realized, understood and embraced the things my parents stand for, eventually. It is imperative that the child is nurtured with open and active listening, thus setting the standard for communication. You see, fear is the enemy of wisdom and turns knowledgeable individuals into fools. Faith is the only face setting us free to succeed on our own path of life. A happy childhood is all that is asked for. I suppose that not everybody reading this article is a parent, nevertheless, the message can be spread by anyone and everyone.



Written by Chhavi Minhas
“A free spirit, dreamer and admirer of this puzzle called life”

Growth Mindset: The Man in the Plane

”So, do you boys remember how I told you aeroplanes fly?”
“No, wait, how?”
“You boys really do not listen to anything I say, do you? Do you remember Bernoulli’s Principle?”
“Oh yes, Bernoulli’s Principle!”

As I was making my routine ‘end of semester’ trip back home, I overheard this rather interesting conversation a father was having with his two sons. (The kids could not have been more than 12-year-olds). This conversation only continued to surprise me more  as the flight began to soar higher and higher, since it steered through Aerodynamics, Mechanisms of Turbulence, The Stratosphere, Water Cycle, What clouds are exactly and went on to the Chennai Floods, before going to a variety of other topics. The conversation continued on through a variety of topics as the boys continued to ask questions, give their opinion and gather knowledge.

This incident reminded me of the ‘Growth Mindset’ model run in a school of inner city kids, which Carol Dweck speaks of, in her book by the same name. It is one I would recommend all to read, as it shows quite clearly the horizons of the Human Mind, which really are none. The story goes on about how this terribly underperforming school transforms into one where 8-year-olds are actively reading and understanding Shakespeare. Children really do surprise us, if we give them a chance.

In a world where kids are treated more and more like kids with each passing day, I am really in awe of this man who treats his children to adult conversations that are filled with information and knowledge. Furthermore, the children have been raised to question things, be curious and are definitely not disqualified because of age. They are given equal importance in the conversation. Indeed, all parents need to take a cue from this man and have mature and normal conversations with kids. We need to teach them early on, the value of making healthy conversations.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the innocence of kids or about kids enjoying their lives. I am completely in favour of children being children. What I am against is the babying of children, which prevents them from growing up and becoming adept at handling themselves. As parents, an important part of rearing kids is to make them confident and self-reliant. By being overprotective or not giving them the room to grow, fall, make mistakes and explore, they are unknowingly failing as a parent.

Moving away, thinking about the current world predicament where we do not have enough thinking people, this could just be our solution. I think any person who wishes to live in a world where there are no Yahoo Questions about ‘If the computer gets heavier when we save more data into it’ is justified in asking for it.

The rules of Evolution suggest that man should be smarter, stronger and more independent, with every generation. I believe we stand at a point in History, where for the first time, we can begin to question this predicament. It's rather simple, Man’s tools and devices have become excessively updated from the axe and sword to the Smartphone and the Internet, but the Human Race as a whole is becoming, from the lack of a more eloquent word, stupider.

It is like Amish says, in his much acclaimed Shiva Trilogy – Everything can be a good or a bad, depending on how much it is used or abused. Indeed, it's time, we as a society, move towards bringing up our future generations to be well informed, logical, analytical, creative and more of all confident and mature beings, who know how to hold themselves, instead of baby talking them to doomsday.


Written by Shreya Srinivasan
A person of varied interests, with a possible ADHD that went unnoticed as a child. A gypsy philosopher looking for her place and space in the world. Admittedly a little odd at first, but then, you have to be odd to be number one.